July Marginalia
What I Learned, Read, Watched, and added to my commonplace book
An Important Note..
Marginalia goes out to paid members every month, but I'm opening July’s issue to everyone, because next week the Commonplace Circle opens and I wanted to offer a peek into one of the more casual aspects of this publication. For the month of July, members get to join for $6. Learn more about it here!
In the Margins…
Welcome to July Marginalia—a monthly newsletter where I share what I’ve been learning, reading, listening to, watching, and commonplacing.
As always, I have included a free printable card for you to carry in your journal in hopes that it’ll be a reminder and encouragement to you that beauty is worth making time for. If you print it, make sure to send a picture! I love to see how you all are using it.
The first official month of summer has come to a close, and I have finally gotten over the fact that it’s not winter and that I will have to embrace insufferable weather for about 4 more months (Florida…nuff said). My daughter got married this month, so it wasn’t as slow as a typical July around here can be, but it was a beautiful celebration and I am feeling an array of complex feelings as a new season being a family of 4 begins.
Let’s begin with six things I learned in July…
1. Guarding and setting apart the ordinary as sacred is what it means to be present
Years ago after reading “The Liturgy of the Ordinary” and using the book Every Moment Holy to guide the ordinary moments of my day—I was so inspired to slow down and recognize that the less “impressive” moments determine most of what becomes of our lives, that I’ve decided to revive my practice of small ceremonies for ordinary moments such as starting or finishing a book, refilling my fountain pen with ink, etc.
This often looks like making sure I don’t have any input (media playing in my ears), lighting a candle, and making a special drink that I sit with until I’ve finished drinking it. By brain thanks me, but most importantly I just know it has to be a good soul practice that makes me a participant of my own life, instead of an observer.
2. My people don’t think I’m “too much”
I will never regret making the time to cultivate and tend to the women in my life that make me feel the most seen. My people love that I’m silly, quiet, loud, excitable, a little absent-minded, nurturing, and a strange combination of spontaneous, and measured and I’m free to love them for all their contradictions, too.
3. Matcha with guava and strawberry is a magical combination
There was some type of glitch in the matrix at my favorite local coffeeshop and I received intel that there was a secret stash of guava that’s no longer being “advertised” on the menu that I could order. I will never be the same. As someone who grew up with unlimited access to guava trees, my little Puerto Rican heart was in heaven.
4. It’s time to read Digital Minimalism again
I am only getting slower and grumpier about responding to emails and text messages, and I know that it’s fundamentally a problem with my lack of digital boundaries. I used to have a habit of reading this book every year because of how practical and inspiring it is, but I’ve gotten off track and it’s time to bring it back!
5. When choosing a book to read in “one sitting”—don’t go for a book with a character glossary in the first pages (looking at you, My Brilliant Friend).
On a mini reader retreat/ staycation with Leslie Line this month, we decided to bring a few books we’ve been wanting to read and became so invested at the start when reading this book, that we decided THIS would be our shared reading experience for the weekend. While I did like the book, I quickly became resentful of all the characters and relationships I had to keep straight and I only had myself to blame. I enjoyed this book, but good grief, it’s not a binge-read type and I should’ve never forced it.
6. Reading what I intended to is much more life-giving than falling victim to bookish fomo.
To clarify, I cannot deny that there will be times of magical bookish serendipity, and I want to leave room for that in my life, BUT I want to treat that as an exception to the rule. I simply don’t thrive and savor when I’m jumping all over the place. Reading one book at a time is a discipline, and my brain is happier and calmer when I do this. Mind you, this does not mean that I cannot have a few books going at once. As the anonymous author of one of the most influential essays I’ve ever read titled Mother Culture said:
“I always keep three books going--a stiff book, a moderately easy book, and a novel, and I always take up the one I feel fit for!" That is the secret; always have something "going" to grow by”
Taiwan Travelogue by Yáng Shuāng-zǐ
“Traveling is living in a foreign place. As in, experiencing all four seasons of normal life in a foreign place. Leaving behind a home environment where one’s habits have settled into old, tired ways and spending one’s days somewhere else, trying to find some new feeling in the mere act of being alive in this world. In this sense, traveling is a way of cleansing one’s body and mind—starting afresh.”
I had a SUPERB reading experience with this book. I went into it with very little knowledge other than it had won the Booker award for the year, and I was glad I did because it ended up allowing me to think deeply about a nuanced topic.
It takes place in 1938 when Taiwan was a Japanese colony and follows Aoyama Chizuko, a young, celebrated Japanese writer who travels to Taiwan on an official lecture tour. Uninterested in the imperialist agenda of her hosts, Chizuko desires to experience real island life and to taste as much of its authentic cuisine as her famously “monstrous” appetite can bear, and she grows infatuated with her erudite Taiwanese interpreter, Ō Chizuru.
I was quite smitten with the relationship that developed between these two and I appreciated greatly the work that went into the translation of this novel to carefully preserve the tension between class dynamics and the challenges these women faced in exploring their complicated feelings.
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
“Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout as you did in Rome. Do your worst, for I will do mine! Then the fates will know you as we know you”
As I type this, I am misty eyed having finished my summer-long reading of this spectacular novel with many of you. This book introduced me to the incredible mind of Alexander Dumas. I am in awe of his ability to create a story that contains so many dynamic characters, and one that manages to provide such a compelling insight into the human soul, and society at large. I will undoubtedly be rereading this in my life time.
My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante
“We were twelve years old, but we walked along the hot streets of the neighborhood, amid the dust and flies that the occasional old trucks stirred up as they passed, like two old ladies taking the measure of lives of disappointment, clinging tightly to each other. No one understood us, only we two—I thought—understood one another.”
I went into this book thinking it was about a sweet, intimate female friendship that evolved over the years, and found out that I was completely wrong about that. In fact, the friendship in this book was more of a relationship of proximity, and parallel experiences of survival that vacillated between friendly, and toxic. It was quite immersive at the start, but I quickly found myself crossing my eyes by the time the power dynamics, and character arcs became more complex. I only have myself to blame because it simply wasn’t cut out to be a read-in-one-sitting type of book.
What I thought would be a sweet story of friendship, ended up reading more like an Italian mafia saga, and there was a plot twist at the end that I could not have predicted. I found it to be worth the read, but I’m not entirely sure I’m craving that type of story right now, so I’m not sure I’ll continue the series.
The Island of Sea Women by Lisa See
“The government labels the haenyeo a cultural heritage treasure—something dying out that must be preserved, if only in memory. How does it feel to be the last of the last?” If they’re academics, they’ll want to talk about Jeju’s matrifocal culture, explaining, “It’s not a matriarchy. Rather, it’s a society focused on women.”
This book was put on the radar by one of my best friends who I ended up reading it with, and it had a blend of elements that I didn’t know I’d needed. After reading Taiwan Travelogue, I thirsted for more storytelling centered around intimate female connections and I found that and so much more.
It centers around the decades long friendship between two Korean women, Young-sook and Mi-ja, who train together as haenyeo, the all-female diving collective of Jeju Island whose members harvest the sea for a living while their husbands tend the home.
I rarely see the depiction of stories where the weight of survival to women in this way, and I found it so fascinating!
Shakespeare’s Sonnets (Folger’s Edition)
Oh, hey! Guess who started reading Shakespeare’s sonnets? This girl! I typically read one Shakespeare play a year. In 2023 it was Twelfth Night, 2024 Midsummer Night’s Dream, in 2025 it was Macbeth (wow!) and this year it’ll be The Tempest. Why not add some short sonnets to the mix? It’ll only make me a better communicator and fill me with thought provoking ideas, it also doesn’t require much more of a time commitment, and Heather Colley is demystifying them for those who are curious over on her corner of substack, which means it’s time.
The playlist—As someone whose musical resumé includes years of unrepeatable shower acoustics, I rely on music to set the tone for much of what I do. I think it’s a beautiful way to add whimsy to any moment and to remind me that the most mundane, ordinary days are sacred and no less filled with purpose and meaning than any other. I also love listening to podcasts and audiobooks when I can’t sit down and read with my eyeballs. Here’s some of what I listened to this month:
My ‘Salsa Classics’ Playlist on Spotify
Sometimes a girl just needs to put some salsa on and get some work done. These are somme of the classics I grew up with that always puts a pep in my step and all the nostalgic feels.
This is a delightfully low stimulation playlist for when you just want some good ambience while creating, or reading. I like to play it when I’m collaging with my daughters.
Hector Berlioz’s Les nuits d’eté, Op.7 (1840-41)
I listened to this as part of our Grand Tour and wow. It was beautiful. I find it so intriguing that a composer would create music with a narrative in mind. I am drawn to studying music because the thought that someone’s mind could produce such a work and tell a story really makes me appreciate the beauty of the arts.
My ‘Dancing in the Kitchen’ Playlist
This month there has been a lot of dancing in the kitchen with my girlies. This is the only way I know to break any tension or stress in my household when sibling fights rear their ugly heads or I get a stick up my butt about all the little things. This playlist reminds me that these are the good old days.
The screening room—I’m making an effort to incorporate film, videos, and television into my self education, so I’m deliberately choosing those that I think introduce beautiful ideas, or are just plain entertaining or comforting. Here’s what I watched this month:
Some people are surprised to learn about me that I have a fascination with true crime, and scary stories (for lack of a fitting term). I have a hard time finding shows and movies that stay in the “scary/creepy” zone without moving into full horror (which is where my mental health seems to draw the line) so I was happy to find this!
I binged my whole way through the first season and my husband was kind enough to bring me martinis in bed whilst I did so. Widow’s Bay tells the story of an isolated coastal town led by Mayor Tom Loftis. Mayor Loftis is hoping to drive more tourism into town to help revive it, and a dense fog rolls in that ends up revealing secrets in the town’s history related to ancient curses. I really thought it was done well, and appreciated the smart humor throughout.
The Paradox of Being Ambitious but Lazy
GUYS—This video essay was SO eye-opening and I added a new book to my TBR because of it. Though, I wouldn’t use the word “lazy” for the alternative to being ambitious, I think it provides a lot of insight into why we don’t follow through on what we resolve to do and it inspired one of my recent essays:
Why Can't I Keep the Promises I Make to Myself?
I recently made a commonplace entry about Aristotle's belief that our actions shape us more than any amount of self understanding could, and found myself intrigued enough to keep pulling on the thread and letting it teach me about the places in my own life where I fail to follow through on the promises I’ve made to myself.
I have been fascinated with greek mythology since childhood, so I KNEW I was going to watch this. I also am typically not the type of person who gets uptight about adaptations because, you know..art! I can report that this movie was incredibly well done! I didn’t stop thinking about it until days later, and I already want to see it again. Christopher Nolan is truly a film genius and I thought the cast was well chosen.
I love seeing in hindsight, all of the movies that inspired so many of the beloved Romcoms I have enjoyed growing up. I have been a grumpy old lady about the slow decline of the romcom in modern cinema, so it’s delightful to explore where the on screen depictions all started.
Audrey Hepburn plays a sheltered European princess who slips away from her official duties during a state visit to Rome, and Gregory Peck is the American reporter who recognizes her and, sensing a scoop, shows her the city without letting on that he knows who she is. It reminded me of one of my favorite romcoms of all time—Notting Hill!
As one of my substack pillars this section will explore my experience with carefully creating systems for streamlining a wardrobe that feels comfortable, reducing the amount of products I purchase and consume, and finding my signatures. I’m working on adding one piece per month to my wardrobe. Here is where that research and intention-shifting has led me:
I’ve added a pair of pants to my capsule wardrobe that work so well for the style I’m curating in my 40’s. They are equal parts practical and stylish and since I’m restricting myself to adding one piece to my collection per month, I anticipate these barrel jeans to be a part of my wardrobe for years to come. These are my second pair since adding my first last month and wanting another! They are 100% cotton, and a staple piece that will work well with several combinations of clothing I already own. A win is a win.
Notable items ‘in my bag’
Stainless Steel Water Bottle: On my search for an affordable, quality water bottle that I can carry around in my purse, I found this stainless steel insulated water bottle and we are a match made in heaven (which I almost spelled ‘heaving’) It fits well in my purse, is dishwasher safe (minus the lid), keeps my drink cool, and easy to clean.
Eadem Lip Balm: Anyone that knows me thinks I have a strange dependency on moisturizing my lips, and they’re not wrong. I have finally found the holy grail of lip products and believe me, I have tried MANY. This is the consistency I typically look for in a lip balm, and it goes above and beyond by somehow not requiring that I apply it nearly as much as my others. Witchcraft, I tell you.
Charcoal Bamboo Floss: Oh! I found a refillable floss that I can keep in my purse at all times, instead of the plasticky ones I’ve been getting. Another win.
Kaweco Sport in red: yep— I caved and got a red Kaweco Sport to match my red pocket journal because I am just. a. girl.
Here’s a look into my commonplace book this week:
Thank you so much for reading and for supporting the Commonplace Circle. Because of you this publication can exist, and I get to bring a little something in for my family. I am grateful everyday you choose to be a part of this community. I’ve included the July Marginalia Postcard below for your delighting pleasure. Don’t forget to be fancy about it and print it on cardstock. Snap a picture of it tucked inside of your journal and share it with the community!
If there is something you’d love to see on this newsletter, please feel free to make suggestions and let me know.
Warmly,
Lilly
Fantastic newsletter! ❤️ I am obsessed with Widow’s Bay and will also be buying those jeans. 👀🤪
“My people don’t think I’m too much” I had this realization as well! What a relief and what a blessing